Worst coach ever

I wish I had proper insight into why people feel like they can make assessments of my physical body but I am really at a loss. Let me start this by telling people I spend literally no time at work telling people how sad I am about gaining weight or talking about my exercise regimine, that's for blogs and deep conversations with my mom. Nor do I spend time limping or looking ill or eating large amounts of pie or cake because the following will have more of an impact if that's clear.

This morning I was talking to a coworker who said to me, literally out of nowhere, "next year, we're both going to get in shape!" It was said out of love, with so much glee, but she could see my face. I said "I'm sorry but please do not set goals for me - I had to make a concious decision about my priorities and that isn't one of them". I was REALLY proud of myself. I'd asserted myself and stood up for myself and let her know that wasn't ok and she was surprisingly really grateful for it. She told me that she doesn't see me as overweight (hah, nice save) and that she appreciated my honesty, declaring that's what friendship is: the truth.

I just keep thinking, there are so many more fat, fucked up people than just me here, why me?

I'm having one of those moments when you were young and your parent did something and you think (or, if you're a spicy little pistol, you scream) 'I'm never going to treat my kids that way!'

I want to be the person who builds people up and tells them the truth when they ask me for it. Though I've also learned that's taxing and I've decided to take up a collection. So, if you want the truth, you owe me a dollar and if you want an hour of therapy, it's $50. Be prepared to see me driving around in a Lexus by next Christmas because, as it turns out, people have a lot they want to tell me.