Goodbye Pyrex!

I took some dip to a friend's Halloween party and, from what I can discern, I'm never seeing my container again.
Please see below - a dear john letter from my pyrex dish:

Dear Jessica (aka my adoptive mother.)

You may not remember me, but I remember you.  I'm not sure of my name.  Honestly, I don't think you ever formally named me.  Perhaps my name is "Pyrex."  Maybe "Small Glass Container."  Or better yet "Small, Sturdy Glass Container with Rubbermaid Plastic Lid with Flaps that Lock Into Place." 

Hopefully, you remember me.

I probably should have written sooner.  No doubt you've been worried sick over me.  The last time we were together, I was doing my chore.   And I did it well, I might add.  To earn my keep - namely, a warm place in your cupboard - I had to contain and keep fresh the delicious spinach dip you made for Jarret's Halloween Party.   I hate to brag, but I believe I did my job well. 

I know you didn't intend to abandon me at the party.  Under normal situations, I might have been very upset, shattered to pieces if you will pardon the pun.  But when the dip was gone and I had no more chores to perform, Jarret found me all alone in the "dish drying" section of his sink basin.  Tired of using cheap plastic and chemical-laced containers for his dinner bowl, he decided to make good use of me.  Case in point:  several weeks ago, he prepared his vegan Thanksgiving dinner and used me to take the meal to his Aunt's in Los Angeles.  When we arrived hours later, Jarret was thrilled to find that I performed my job to perfection.  His dinner was fresh and delicious.  Since then, he's allowed me to hold his dinner each and every night, and he always treats me with love and affection.  He's no pervert (well, he is, just not with me,) but he's careful to bathe me thoroughly after each meal. 

Honestly, I'm very happy with him, and I think he's happy with me. 

So you see, this is why I haven't written sooner.  I love you adoptive Mom, but I'm very happy living with Jarret and I think I would crack (no pun intended) under the pressure of having to return to you after having bonded so completely with Jarret. 

Please don't be upset with me.  You can still visit me any time you'd like.  He may even prepare a meal specifically for me to hold that he'll share with you.  But I have found pure happiness with Jarret, and I hope you'll let me stay with him.  I've never understood the quote, "If you love a container, set it free" until now.

With everlasting love,

Glassy McPlastic-Top