Hermit the Frog

Well, finals are over. I'll find my grades out on January 3rd and, despite my typical overwhelming impatience, I'm just glad not to have to think about anything. My head hurts today which I'm guessing is from squeezing every drop of human resources management out of it last night but other than that, I made it through my first semester of grad school and only missed one class. Considering what a DITCHER I was in high school and college, I'd say that's a feat.

Today I'd like to discuss white elephant and secret santa gift exchanges. First, white elephant. Now, I live in 777sq ft of mess with another human and two cats...there is just not a lot of room to store gifts I don't like. And people who know me don't give us crappy gifts! One time a friend lovingly offered a cd tower which we drove to her house to see, loaded it in the car, looked at one another, and drove straight to Goodwill. Since there's not a lot of storage in the house, there's also not a lot in the garage. Well, technically, there is plenty of room in the garage but we're not allowed to store much there - Todd's man cave rule. It is a shrine to all things car and the only items we're really allowed to put there are the piano we couldn't convince movers to move up 3 flights of stairs and bikes.
But I digress!
Why would anyone want to participate in a gift exchange where you will fight to get a marginal present? Doesn't everyone understand you're excited about something that one of your friends or coworkers thought was crappy? When someone brings an ugly pillow that their mother-in-law gave them and you "oooh" and "ahhhh" over it, THEY ARE JUDGING YOU. They immediately decide you are a peasant. Some crazy old lady actually got excited over this hideous angel that my boss brought that was painted gold and white and had fiber optics coming off the wings with several LED lights, in all colors, throughout the angel's dress: It. Was. Hideous. I decided, since I'm punk rock, to steal the Mystical Creations vampire skull LED waterfountain. Nothing says relaxation like water spewing out of a vampire skull! Of course, Todd loved it and now everyone in my department thinks I worship satan: a true win-win.

For secret santa, it only works if everyone in the group knows each other well. Otherwise, I draw the name of a man in my department I know the following about:
1. He's Asian
2. His name
3. Where he sits
4. That he has too many pagers
5. That he chews like a horse when he's eating
That is LITERALLY all I know about him. Once he asked me why I was eating dinner at 5pm and I told him I'm in school. That is LITERALLY all the social interaction we've had.
I feel cheesy about it but I bought a cute box from Target and filled it with tea. Worst case scenario he can use it as a white elephant next year!