Ready! Set! Crab!

I normally don't pay much attention to not eating meat but this week is rife with uncomfortable meat experiences, so please accept my apology for unintentionally flaunting my superiority...I mean vegetarianism.

An interesting phenomenon occurs when you tell people you are a vegetarian. It is sometimes akin to telling people you're gay. If they don't know any vegetarians, they are uncomfortable. Sometimes people accept it with a brief explanation that is normally something like: 'think about whatever you eat, and subtract meat - that's what we eat.' Sometimes it makes people angry. Though, admittedly I've never been persecuted for not eating meat, so maybe it's not the same.

I am reminded of one such occassion when I spent my first Thanksgiving when Todd and I were dating with his extended family. One cranky aunt quipped, when we didn't accept turkey, "WHY DON'T YOU GIVE ME A LIST OF WHAT YOU CAN EAT THEN!" Ouch lady, calm down and pass the mashed potatoes.

This week my new team decided we would honor the boss with a trip to Joe's Crab Shack. Have you been there? If not, let me explain why it belongs in one of the inner circles of hell.

First, I do not like to be humilated while I eat. I don't even like the threat of people potentially humiliating me while I eat. I also do not like to see servers, people who are forced to pick up people's disgusting leftovers, take shit from all sorts of customers, and all for lousy pay and marginal tips, be expected to dance like trained bears for the people who are short-tipping and making their lives miserable. It's barbaric.

Second, I'm ok with you eating meat. I really, honestly, don't care. Eat a hamburger! Cut that steak! But I really don't need to see you rip carcass apart. The tables at "le shack' are used as plates. They give you a giant bucket for dead fish to rip apart with your grubby little hands. Again, barbaric.

I am dreading this. It's worse that it makes me look like a crappy member of the team so I have to smile and order a side salad and pretend that I am super full (please pass the bread!!). A friend suggested I order dessert for lunch, which is tempting.

Third, I am going to be expected to pay for a lunch that I didn't eat. Joe's Crab Shack will charge me for a salad as though it had meat on it. Do you know how much lettuce costs? Basically nothing.

Well, off to fit into my new department. Looks like someone will be stopping by Chipotle on their way to class!