Yes, it's true. I once based all my self worth on how well I did in school. I learned my lesson and stopped all that crap in college but, I am willing to admit, it again reared its ugly head. That heart-sink feeling, that 'wow, I typed 11 pages for my study guide' and studied for two weeks and finished in 39 minutes and wrote two pages for a 5pt essay...and I got a C.
Now, to be fair, he misworded a question, which brought me to a B and misread my essay which could mean getting an A. But still, that ugly little part of me that says "you're not good enough! you're not smart enough! you don't study enough!" still rears his little head every once in awhile.
Yes, I know being bummed out about a B is misplaced. Yes, I know it's not the end of the world. I just feel like I work so goddamn hard and, well, I wasn't expecting it. I know I set high standards and that when I don't meet them, I tend to punish myself. I'm working on it.
In other news, lots of fun things happening this weekend. Jarret's pumpkin carving party. Todd and I are dressing as Scott Pilgrim and Ramona Flowers. Yes, that is how he dresses all the time. Yes, I do wish I could have pink hair all the time. There's also a public service women's event hosted by my college and I'm getting my hair did and we are going to see PETER PAN at the Performing Arts Center! Lots of wonderful stuff to look forward to. Also, Starf*cker is playing at Detroit tonight and we may head over if we can be awake for it. I have a sore back and rug burns on my knees...I know what you're thinking but it's from decorating our conference room for Halloween. Getting too old for hard manual labor!
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