Cheaters

I can recall two times since my parents have been married that my mom has been informed that my dad is cheating on her.

The first, I was 14. That would mean my brother was 11. 11-year-old boys know close to nothing except how to eat and get dirty. My mom was in her room folding laundry and, in our old house, the laundry room was upstairs next to the bedrooms. My brother came whipping in, breathless, asking my mom to sit down. "Mom....I....Dad...is.....cheating on you!" My mom, never one to jump to conclusions, knowing my father would never cheat, said "What are you talking about?" Justin then led her to the laundry room and pointed to, horror of horrors, my thong underwear. I'd just been to my first school dance and I needed some more "creative" underwear than the granny-size, heart-covered panties I'd been sporting. My mom laughed and explained that I was becoming a woman.

The second time was maybe 5 or 6 years ago. I was home for Christmas and the whole family was at a casino. I didn't have my phone so I borrowed my dad's and noticed he had a grip of text messages. My dad just isn't phone-savvy and I figured I'd delete them for him since he likely didn't know how to. I noticed one though that scared me. Dad's on the road a lot and the media tells us that it would be totally conceivable for my dad to have another family in Texas, so I panicked when I saw a text that read "I love you, it's snowing". I ran around that casino and handed the phone to my mom who, as always, laughed at us and told me it was from his business partner and that his business partner's wife's name is Jan...my dad is Jack...he just didn't scroll far down enough.

Sorry dad - we believe you.