No to socks

One of the worst presents I ever received was from an old boyfriend's mom. She looked like Stevie Nicks and was likely very high when I ate an awkward Italian dinner with her and the ex but that was before I knew what being high meant or what people looked like when they were high. She asked me a lot of questions like I was an adult but I was only 14.

His dad was my art teacher and would thank me for "being a good influence" on him. Which again, looking back was another really strange thing to say to a 14-year-old. At the end of our stupid dinner she gave me a gift. I think her gift that night soured me on socks forever.

I know they're not socks, really. They're more like completely useless crocheted hippie foot jewelry that inappropriately links your toe to your ankle. Doesn't matter. I was forced to wear them whenever we saw his mom and therefore I will boycott socks forever. Sorry Becky, blame Stevie Nicks.

Also, her son was a massive asshole.