Behold: The Cryptic Reconnect

As Nicole says, I get all the good stuff.

It used to be every Christmas or so during college when old boyfriends, realizing they were back home, alone, would feel compelled to contact me. "Hey....it's been so long....what are you up to?" (Read: Are you seeing anyone??). I say this with no ego, it just used to happen.

And now, with the advent of facebook, the trend continues. Now that I'm older it's more with old friends. Remember the girl I FORCED to go to the health center to get a pregnancy test after unprotected sex with her boyfriend who refused to speak to me after that? Well, we're facebook friends now!

So today, when I checked facebook and had the most cryptic message from someone with 2 friends, no photo and a fake name, I was freaked out. I at first thought it was spam but then the details of the message were so clear and real that I was left in a "do I know you?" moment.

Message from: FAKE NAME
Title: My name is not FAKE NAME
Message text: I do recall however, enjoying a film with you and "I haaaaaaate it" one, Punch Drunk Love, and then being assaulted by an angry woman Bible. See if that jogs the old noodle! Dana Point representin!
.....

What the what?

So I just wrote back: Am I supposed to guess who you are?

Of course, it turned out to be a friend I didn't mind reconnecting with who does amazing charity work and lives on the other side of the planet. No implied creepy booty call.

It's funny how reconnects like this take you back. The night he was talking about, my BFF and another girl I'd been trying to befriend went to his house to watch that movie. The other girl was a nutty Holy Roller and used to be SO MAD if anything was said that was anything but Christly. That night we drove home and she refused to speak to Nicole and I. She ended up dating the best friend of my old boyfriend who was a real jerk, karma rules.

Todd told me: You know too many people. When you only know 4 people, you can be certain that crap is spam.

Nicole, of course, guessed the mystery person on the first try.

In sum, if you want to be my friend, just call me or email me. I am actually quite nice.