After returning from a very fun lunch with some of my favorite coworkers, I rode the elevator up to my floor and felt rejuveated, gleeful even. I hopped on, pressed the button for my floor and stepped off to a lobby full of people. I saw friends, coworkers, service people and I, being the dramatic woman that I am, raised my hands and exclaimed: "WONDERFUL! YOU'VE ALL MADE IT TO GREET ME UPON MY RETURN FROM LUNCH!"
Everyone chuckled, but then I realized that one lady was frantically flipping through her cell phone, one gentleman looked upset, and....
...coming at my left side, at top speed, was a woman on a stretcher. They were gathered because a coworker had fallen ill and was not responding, going in and out of consciousness.
I turned the corner and ran down the hall to my desk, hoping no one would remember what an idiot I am.
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Over and back and forward
26 is over,
break is over,
vacation is over,
back to work,
back to school,
back to reading and homework and papers and organizational analyses and everything else,
back on Weight Watchers,
back in session,
back to basics,
forward to lunches,
forward to fun,
forward to Todd's 30th,
forward to Nico's wedding,
forward to moving and to moving up.
break is over,
vacation is over,
back to work,
back to school,
back to reading and homework and papers and organizational analyses and everything else,
back on Weight Watchers,
back in session,
back to basics,
forward to lunches,
forward to fun,
forward to Todd's 30th,
forward to Nico's wedding,
forward to moving and to moving up.
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Bookface
Todd and I met on MySpace, through a friend. I likely would not have agreed to meet him but we had a mutual friend and it seemed like a good idea to have a friend grounded in reality, away from the phony internet.
When asked how I met Todd, I reluctantly tell people that we met online. I think I waited a year to tell my family how we really met. 6 years ago, it was cause for concern for my family who assumed only serial killers are online, waiting to prey on girls like me. Plus, I'd had a cousin get in a creepy online relationship and so therefore all online love was forbidden. Now, I think 1 in 5 marriages begins online so it's old hat and no one really blinks an eye.
Then Facebook came around and, at first, you had to be a college student (or at least someone with an email address from a school so it was this funny mix of college students and creeps who worked on campus). It was started by a college student, for other college students and when it was exclusive it was fun, like a sexy online nightclub.
...Then it got awkward when we were all told it would be open to all and that potential employers would check your facebook to check if you're a horrific drunk.
...Then it got fun again when family could join.
But the law of unintended consequences came into play when this happened. The wikipedia page of this concept has a fun picture of the Australian outback with a rabbit-made gully after rabbits were released for hunting purposes. Those rabbits tore shit up and now the release for hunting has had a perverse effect on the ecology of Australia, which no one ever thought of.
Anyway, it's funny when your mom becomes friends with your old roomate who is 110% dude and likes to post totally inappropriate things but it's even funnier when your grandma befriends him and he has to pull you aside at a party where Four Loko is being consumed (not by me) and Screamo is being played (I'm not going to link to Captain Ahab but if you really want to know, you can google it) to tell you that he accepted your grandma's request but had to put her on limited profile access, you know, because of the stuff he posts.
...Then it continues to be funny because your grandma treats facebook like twitter. She signs on, drops a bomb, then signs out and just lets her friends try and figure out if something is terribly wrong. An example would be yesterday's post where she basically said "let's go on an adventure", in a matter of words. It sounded like a drunk confession and then my second grade teacher agreed to join her on her psychotic journey. It's entertaining as hell. One of her friends posted "You live in an exciting world, don't you Carol?"
...Then it gets awkward again though because a lady who retired from my place of business tried to friend request me and I don't want to be friends. Don't get my wrong, there is nothing I have to hide. Anyone who looks at my facebook will not be assaulted with language and drunk photos...though in some pictures I am drinking, responsibly. She is old and records albums and shouldn't. She retired a long time ago and people still make fun of her. Someone in my new department brought her album as a white elephant gift with a $5 pasted to it. It was a little funny because it was so cheesy but it made me so sad. If she knew anyone was making fun of her, it would break her little heart.
So, I say, do as you would in the real world. Befriend who you are friends with, avoid those who you wouldn't go to lunch with, post only what you'd want people to know and go about your happy real-world life. Spend as little time as possible on facebook because if you spend a lot of time there, you will only be navigating awkward conversations with retired christian songwriters and your grandma.
When asked how I met Todd, I reluctantly tell people that we met online. I think I waited a year to tell my family how we really met. 6 years ago, it was cause for concern for my family who assumed only serial killers are online, waiting to prey on girls like me. Plus, I'd had a cousin get in a creepy online relationship and so therefore all online love was forbidden. Now, I think 1 in 5 marriages begins online so it's old hat and no one really blinks an eye.
Then Facebook came around and, at first, you had to be a college student (or at least someone with an email address from a school so it was this funny mix of college students and creeps who worked on campus). It was started by a college student, for other college students and when it was exclusive it was fun, like a sexy online nightclub.
...Then it got awkward when we were all told it would be open to all and that potential employers would check your facebook to check if you're a horrific drunk.
...Then it got fun again when family could join.
But the law of unintended consequences came into play when this happened. The wikipedia page of this concept has a fun picture of the Australian outback with a rabbit-made gully after rabbits were released for hunting purposes. Those rabbits tore shit up and now the release for hunting has had a perverse effect on the ecology of Australia, which no one ever thought of.
Anyway, it's funny when your mom becomes friends with your old roomate who is 110% dude and likes to post totally inappropriate things but it's even funnier when your grandma befriends him and he has to pull you aside at a party where Four Loko is being consumed (not by me) and Screamo is being played (I'm not going to link to Captain Ahab but if you really want to know, you can google it) to tell you that he accepted your grandma's request but had to put her on limited profile access, you know, because of the stuff he posts.
...Then it continues to be funny because your grandma treats facebook like twitter. She signs on, drops a bomb, then signs out and just lets her friends try and figure out if something is terribly wrong. An example would be yesterday's post where she basically said "let's go on an adventure", in a matter of words. It sounded like a drunk confession and then my second grade teacher agreed to join her on her psychotic journey. It's entertaining as hell. One of her friends posted "You live in an exciting world, don't you Carol?"
...Then it gets awkward again though because a lady who retired from my place of business tried to friend request me and I don't want to be friends. Don't get my wrong, there is nothing I have to hide. Anyone who looks at my facebook will not be assaulted with language and drunk photos...though in some pictures I am drinking, responsibly. She is old and records albums and shouldn't. She retired a long time ago and people still make fun of her. Someone in my new department brought her album as a white elephant gift with a $5 pasted to it. It was a little funny because it was so cheesy but it made me so sad. If she knew anyone was making fun of her, it would break her little heart.
So, I say, do as you would in the real world. Befriend who you are friends with, avoid those who you wouldn't go to lunch with, post only what you'd want people to know and go about your happy real-world life. Spend as little time as possible on facebook because if you spend a lot of time there, you will only be navigating awkward conversations with retired christian songwriters and your grandma.
Monday, January 17, 2011
Panera Brizead
The Panera by my house is wraught, like most fast food restaurants, with ambivalent teenagers. So, when I went there last week with my friend Julie, I decided to mix my ordering up a little. In this vignette, I will play myself and the role of ambivalent teen Panera employee will be played by Josh.
Josh: Welcome to Panera, what can I get you?
Me: I'd like a you pick two with a cup of tomato soup...is that vegetarian?
Josh: Ya
Me: OK then, a you-pick-two with a cup of tomato soup and half a mediterranean veggie with no onions and a small drink....and a pony
Josh: [looks up slowly] did you just say a pony???
Me: Yes, just seeing if you're really listening
Josh: THAT'S AWESOME! [and we high-fived]
and it was, indeed...
Josh: Welcome to Panera, what can I get you?
Me: I'd like a you pick two with a cup of tomato soup...is that vegetarian?
Josh: Ya
Me: OK then, a you-pick-two with a cup of tomato soup and half a mediterranean veggie with no onions and a small drink....and a pony
Josh: [looks up slowly] did you just say a pony???
Me: Yes, just seeing if you're really listening
Josh: THAT'S AWESOME! [and we high-fived]
and it was, indeed...
Friday, January 14, 2011
Whirlwind Tour
Coming back from a vacation is always tough but this vacation was so fun that it took me more than 2 weeks to muster the strength to post on it; posting on it means it's over and what's the fun in that?!
I've prepared a photo montage of the road trip that I think you may enjoy.
First up: Lake Havasu City, AZ
I think this was the first time in 6 years that my mom and dad and Todd and I got to have couples time. So wonderful. Mom was in full-mode baking cookies, simmering soups, griddling (is that a word?) waffles, making magic. Dad was surveying the property, doing dad things, being the best tour guide and driver you could want.
This is mom and I at the Parker Dam where we saw an eagle and a Pacific Loon. No, it was not Todd. A birdwatcher lady was having a meltdown about finding this bird about 30 yards to my right. I'll be honest, I saw no loons.
During this picture, mom was explaining that the donkeys are afraid of people and will likely not get any closer; this was about 10 seconds before one ate out of Todd's hand. More proof that he is the animal whisperer.
Dad is in the liquidation business and has a rich history of bringing weird things home, like industrial size boxes of toilet paper. After witnessing a, ahem, discussion between he and mom about how her ass needs fancier paper than this "excuse" for toilet paper that he brought home, we decided it would be best utilized all over his office. Please take note of the John Wayne and Clint Eastwood photo gallery.
Then it was off to Vegas to celebrate two years of being married.
Here we are at Michael Mina about to enjoy a vegetarian tasting menu that cost more than [almost] everything I own. We were given complimentary champagne and schooled in how to take photos. Our waiter moved the adorable pad of butter out of the photo and our bread so as to imply that this is not the kind of place people eat at.
Come on, seriously. I don't care if you hate life, you love this. It is amazing.
I found this fabulous dress at Anthropologie and couldn't help myself. Tea length with polka dots? YES! We were sitting at breakfast when I heard that grades for one of my classes had posted. I was so excited that we rushed to finish breakfast and ran back to the hotel to check out my grades on ye old laptop; I ended with an A and an A- and I couldn't be happier. I'm phoning to ask if the car can pick me up for dinner at 8...
Exhausted from being adorable...
Then we went to the Neon Boneyard - an absolute Vegas must-see set up presumably by the Soup Nazi from Seinfeld. You have to book online, recieve a confirmation, meet at an undisclosed location etc. etc. But, once you make it through all the shenanigans, you get to tour a sandy lot with rich Vegas history. This is also where we met Marshall and Paul, an adorable couple from Phoenix who we ended up getting drinks with later that night at both Herbs & Rye (they serve only Depression-era cocktails) and Frankie's tiki bar (drinks are $8 or $20 if you want a souvenier glass!). Below you will see Marshall investigating his true vice at the Shag-designed Vice Tester. 
All-in-all, a wonderful trip. We're just not ready to get back in the swing of things but alas, we need income.
I've prepared a photo montage of the road trip that I think you may enjoy.
First up: Lake Havasu City, AZ
I think this was the first time in 6 years that my mom and dad and Todd and I got to have couples time. So wonderful. Mom was in full-mode baking cookies, simmering soups, griddling (is that a word?) waffles, making magic. Dad was surveying the property, doing dad things, being the best tour guide and driver you could want.
Then it was off to Vegas to celebrate two years of being married.
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