My Torrid Love Affair

Last month on my birthday my mother got into an all-out brawl with Teleflora. It was ugly. There was a facebook post that would make your toes curl, lots of calling and complaining and in the end I was delivered two small arrangements in different vases by someone who can only be described as a parolee.

Today I got another notice from our mailroom that I had something waiting for me. My mom told me to expect flowers at an undisclosed time because they'd be re-doing and refunding my mom. I assumed this was that time.

I opened the FTD box, not yet realizing that they are not the same as Teleflora and really, in this time of rampant corporate mergers who questions these sorts of things? The bouquet of pink and red roses was really pretty and I excitedly opened the card to find the following card inscription:

"To the wonderful and beautiful Ms. Rodriguez. I love you very much and will see you soon. Enjoy these in the meantime. With lots of love, M"

I wish I could write back!

Dear M,
Thank you for the kind words and the flowers. You're right, I am wonderful and beautiful though I'm not certain we've ever met and my name is actually not Ms. Rodriguez. Also, I love someone else and these roses will not change my mind.
Best of luck to you in your future endeavors,
J

Will a love affair end because I can't return these? The receptionist tried! She called FTD! You can't return these babies. M is probably thinking 'What a bitch, she never thanked me for the flowers.' Ugh. The drama is intense here, folks!